Blame It On The False Hope
by saniker
Summary: After 10 years of being best friends with Rory Gilmore, Jess Mariano starts to develop more than friendly feelings for her. Only problem is, Rory already thinks she's found true love in the arms of Dean Forester. What's he going to do now?
1. Time Is Running Out

SOMETIMES SHE LOOKS AT ME AND I THINK THAT SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY.

I swear, sometimes Rory looks at me and I can't help but think that she feels the same way I feel about her. For a split second, I stare into her blue eyes and I think that we are more than just friends. Then, she looks away and I know that she thinks that our friendship is platonic.

All these feelings I have for her are eating me alive. I can't take it any longer. It's gotten to the point where I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think straight. What's the matter with me? I want it to stop!

I'm hoping that today, work will take my mind off of her. Any minute Luke will start calling for me to help him, and I'm going to start praying to God that she doesn't walk into the diner.

5……4……..3……..2…..1.

"Jess!"

I hear UNCLE Luke call. Well, here goes nothing. I start to run down the stairs and before I make my way out to the diner, I pray hard that I won't see her.

I look out and I see a diner full of people. It's a Wednesday afternoon I thought. What are people doing here?

"Jess, there you are. Please, I need your help. The guy at that table near the door wants coffee and his wife wants uhm….grapefruit juice."

"Grapefruit juice? We don't _serve _grapefruit juice."

"I know. Now be a good boy and run to Doosey's market and buy the cheapest grapefruit juice you can find."

"Yessssiirrr"

Ever since Luke and Lorelai got together, well, he's been mister sunshine all of a sudden. He's serving extra cheese with the omelets, giving people a choice of _both _Sweet n' Low and Equal. He's actually buying things we don't sell to satisfy the customers. I mean, _how weird is that?!_

So I walk to Doosey's and find the cheapest grapefruit juice I can, then wouldn't you know it, my favorite bagboy is the one tending to the _only _cashier opened.

"Hello Jess." Bagboy says with a big smile on his face.

I clench my fist and I'm ready to punch him.

"Isn't it a wonderful day today?" He asks me with that ridiculous smile on his face.

"Yeah, perfect." I say.

"The sun is shining; birds are chirping, wonderful weather."

"I know what that is. I see signs of _the loooove boat._ If you know what I'm talking about" I say plastically.

"The one and only Rory Gilmore could do this to me. I'm a lucky guy."

"Yes you are." I whisper.

"What?"

"Nothing. I said that you are a lucky guy to have snagged a gal like Rory."

"Thanks man."

"Yeaah- anyway, how much for the juice?"

"0.50 cents"

I hand him a dollar and wait as he gay fully gets my change.

"Here you go, have a nice day Jess." He says.

"Thanks. Bye Dean."

"Bye man."

I hate my life. I hate him, and I hate her for doing this to me. I've never felt like this about anyone. EVER. It drives me crazy. Back to work.

When I step into the very full Luke's diner, I notice to familiar figures jumping around with coffee cups.

_Just my luck. Funny trick God. _I tell myself.

Who else could it be? Rory and her mother Lorelai. Aaaaaand what does the fantabulous UNCLE Luke tell me?

"Give me the grapefruit juice and go tend to Lorelai and Rory."

"Sure. Nothing makes me happier than serving them millions of cups of coffee and watching them down it."

"Ha. Okay go! Go! Go now please."

"Sure thing uncle Lucasss"

I hesitantly walk over to them and sheepishly smile at them.

"What can I get you girls?"

"Are you seriously asking that question?" Lorelai asks while holding up an empty cup.

"Yeah Jess, c'mon. You know us way better than that." Rory says.

"Alright, alright."

I grab a cup of coffee, and I can hear them mocking me. "What can I get you girls?" They say in deep guyish voices. Normally, I'd be irritated, but it's Rory.

I pour them cups of coffee filling them to the rim. I stare at Rory as she drinks it.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth or…" She asks me.

"No. I was just uhm, looking at, uhm," I paused.

"Uhm? Spit it out already." She says giving me a confused smile.

"Your new button. On your bag. You have a new button?" I lied.

"Oh yeah, check it out, I got into a new band. The Distillers."

"Wow. Awesome."  
"C'mon, I know that they might not be your kind of band."

"No, I'm cool with it. Rumor has it that they might be coming to our very own Stars Hollow. If they DO come, we should totally go."  
"Yeah. That'd be cool."

Then we give each other that stare. That one that makes my heart go running a million miles an hour, and breaks it when she looks away.

"Uhm, not to sound too out of place, but The Distillers?" Lorelai said.

"Yeah, they're pretty cool." Rory said.

"Anyway, I gotta work. Earn some money…so, I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah and I'm going to go visit Dean before going home, mom. So you can just hang here and talk to Luke."

"See ya."

No, I don't want her to go visit Dean. No, just change your mind please. Just change your mind.

As she walked out the door, I wanted to chase after her and pour out my heart to her. But I couldn't to that. I didn't have the guts to do it. I wasn't man enough say anything to her. There have been so many times when I could've told her exactly how I felt. But something would just stop me from doing it. I regret those times. Sometimes I stare at the clock and I wish for those times back. I'm such a coward. I hated myself for that. But hey, it's better to be her friend than just… I don't know, a minor character in her life.

I feel like such a girl. I play happy endings for us in my head. I imagine hundreds of scenarios where I tell her how I feel. Most of the time, she tells me she loves me too. But sometimes, when I think more realistically, she looks away and says that nothing could ever happen 'cause the loved Dean.

I have to admit though, I am a romantic. I like it when at the end of the movie, The sad boy ends up with the girl and the _other guy_ has his own happy ending. I also like it when, during the climax of the movie, they make you think that they kill of a character that you like, just to bring them back at the end. Hey…it's a movie….it ain't real, and a guy can dream too right?

Who am I kidding? I want my happy ending.


	2. Sing For Absolution

BLAME IT ON THE FALSE HOPE.

Because that's all anyone can really give you. When you feel let down and angry, it's best to blame the false hope people give. Take for example, me. It's like when I see that look she gives, the warm and peaceful look that makes me think we could be more than friends. It's my false hope. I feel that really good feeling inside of me, then when she looks away, it nearly breaks my heart.

I've been let down a lot. Let down by many people I thought I could depend on, my mom, Luke, my dad…etc. It's not a fantastic feeling, but you have to know that you'll feel it _all _the time.

It's 12:47 am and all I want to do is sleep. But something's keeping me up, and it's not Luke's snoring. It's Rory. I can't believe that after 10 years of being friends with her, this grinding, squishy feeling is what's hindering me from functioning properly. I just want to get over it already. Or better yet, I just want to tell her how I feel so I can know how _she feels. _Am I starting to sound whiny? I gotta sleep.

I closed my eyes and I forced myself to sleep. I tried to get comfortable. I tossed and turned. I couldn't get to sleep. I am so tired but I can't sleep! What was that!? Okay, I can do this. I just have to find an extra comfortable spot and I have to stop thinking.

It's 5:10 am and I have to stop thinking.

I have to stop thinking…

About work…

About school…

About my family…

About Rory…

"Jess! Wake up." I hear Luke yell in my ear. I look at the clock and I can see vaguely that it says 6:00 am.

"Yes uncle Lucas." I say and get up.

My body feels achy and my head hurts. I barely got an hour of sleep, and my sleep deprivation was starting to show. I walked up to the bathroom mirror and I saw deep dark eye bags. With my hair all messed up, my eye bags and my slouchy body, I looked twice my age.

"Oh God Rory, what are you doing to me?" I whispered.

After washing up and getting dressed, I went down and into the diner. 6 am on a Thursday during summer, it'd be a slow day.

I wiped the same tables clean at least 5 times. I had nothing to do. There were _no _people. The diner was spick and span. No dirt, _nada. _

At around 9 o'clock, Kirk came in with Lulu for their usual. Swiss cheese omelet with bacon on the side. And 3 pieces of pancake topped with sugar-free maple syrup and lots of butter on the side. And, 2 diet cokes. I've been working so hard to get my mind off Rory that I've actually become attentive at work. How messed up is that?

By 12 o'clock, the usual crowd started to come in. No sign of the Gilmore girls yet. I was expecting them at 12:30. Till then, I wanted to continue working and putting on fake smiles. I figured that the friendlier you are, the bigger the tip.

12:35 pm. Where were they? Aren't they coming? I kept my eyes glued to the clock and the window. Minutes passed, still no Rory.

Then, the clock hit 12:55. And I saw the two girls walking toward the diner. I ran to the bathroom and gussied up. I ran back out and I went straight to the table they were sitting in.

"4 cups of coffee two to stay, 2 to go. Cheeseburger and lots of fries with extra cheese on the side for you Rory. Regular burger with no tomatoes and no lettuce with extra mayo on both buns for you Lorelai. Did I get it right?" I asked.

They both looked at me in a complete state of shock.

"Good boy." Lorelai said.

"Ha, thanks."

"Yeah, _GREAAAT _job Jess." Rory said.

"Yeah, you know, having you here every lunch. I kind of get the orders down."

"We can see" Lorelai said.

"Well, your orders are coming right up."

I gave the orders to Caesar and started a pot of coffee. Like a good little boy, I poured 2 cups of coffee and 2 to-go cups of coffee.

I gave them everything their orders. But as soon as I put their food down, I couldn't move. I felt like my feet were glued to the floor. I just kept standing there.

"Are you okay?" Lorelai asked.

"Uhm, yeah. Can I get you anything else?" I asked

"No, you pretty much covered everything. So….thanks. You can go if you want." She replied.

"Yeah, right. Uhm, I have a job. So….yeah."

Wow. I felt like such a dumbass. I've totally lost it.

After serving 3 other tables, Rory came up to me and paid.

"Uhm Jess." She said with a worried look on her face.

"Something the matter?" I asked

"I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"Yeah. Why? Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Nothing, its just that you look… tired. Like you haven't slept in a while. I can see your eye bags."

"Oh! Oh that. That's nothing. I just…I just need uhm, uhm….a new mattress. Yeah, that's it. I just need a new mattress. No biggie."

"Oh okay. Well. I'm gonna go now."

Here's your chance kid. Take a stab. What's the worst that could happen? Ask her.

"Rory, do you want to hang out or something. I'm almost on my break anyway."

"Oh, Jess, I'd love to, but… I have to meet Dean in a few minutes and I have this thing with Lane after. I'm so sorry. Rain check though, alright?"

"Yeah, whenever."

"I'm really sorry."  
"You don't have to apologize Rory."

"Okay well..."

"Beat it." I say

"Sure thing." She replies and leaves.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have asked her. That was actually a big let down. It's a sad feeling.

During my break, I decided to take a walk. Clear my head. Get out of that diner and all that noise. I turn the corner and who do I see PDA-ing in front of me? It's Rory and Dean, the happy couple. Of course I turn around and make a run for it. Maybe this walking thing was a bad idea.

I went back to the diner and ran upstairs. I sat on the couch in front of the TV and I started watching…whatever. I didn't even care what I was staring at. I just wanted to curl up and die. Or better yet, I wanted him to curl up and die. Dean. That 10 feet tall bag boy. What does he have that I don't? All that thinking gets you tired. And when you get tired when you're already tired, you tend to fall asleeeeepppp……………..


	3. Apocalypse Please

IT WILL OFFICIALLY BE THREE THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DAYS TOMORROW.

That's how long I've known Rory. Tomorrow is her birthday and it will officially be a decade since the first time we met. Oh, I remember that day. We were both 8. I turned 8 the month before and it was her birthday that day. My mom dragged me to Luke's best friend's daughter's birthday. I was enraged. I was kicking and screaming because I really didn't want to go. I wanted to stay home and play video games. Little did I know, my mom wanted to drop me off with Luke because she was going home to pack up and leave me. Apparently she thought drugs were more interesting than her only child. Well anyway, It was at their home and there were so many people there. They were all happy and joyful and boisterous. One thing I remember is that I was probably the only person who didn't bring a gift to give her. I remember because our first conversation had something to do with it. Lorelai and Luke shoved us together. Apparently I was the only other kid at the birthday. Our conversation went something like this:

"Hi, I'm Rory."

"Rory? Isn't that a boy's name?"

"It's short for Lorelai."

"Well, hi, I'm Jess."

"What did you get me?"

"That's all you want to know? What I got you?"

"It's my birthday."

"I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything."

"Oh. But it's my birthday."

"Well, 20 years from now, I'll get you something really pretty I promise."

"20 years? What makes you think that we'll even remember each other 20 years from now?"

"I have good memory."

"What if I don't live here anymore?"  
"I'll find a way."

"I'm going to be famous and living in Paris."

"Paris? Where's that?"  
"Dontcha have a hug-a-world?"

"No. What's a hug-a-world."

"Come with me. I'll show you."

The next thing I remember is the gift opening part of her birthday. I sat there so bored. She got all the gifts and the attention. All I got was cake. And we all had to sit and watch her reaction. I remember that she got this tiny box, and when she opened it, she pulled out this necklace. If I remember correctly, the pendant was one of those cameos that was hand-made. Shipped in from Venice, is what I heard Rory's dad say. That must've cost a fortune. I didn't know it then. But I know now. She had that necklace all the time. She never took it off. Until one day when we were 13, she was crying because she had no idea where her necklace had gone. She told me that she only put it down for a second during class and when she looked it was gone.

There's not much else I remember about that party.

I'm sitting here, racking my brain. Making a list of perfect gifts to give her. And so far I have _absolutely nothing!_ What am I supposed to do? I have to get her the perfect gift. Let's see, last year, I gave her a book by Neil Gaiman. The year before that I gave her a book by Annie Proulx. Year before that, I think I also gave her a book. I think I have to stop giving her books. WAIT! There was this one year where I gave her something different. What was it? Oh yeah, I think I engraved her name on a plaque that said world's greatest loser. Ugh! What was I thinking? I think I was 12 and immature. Well, the circumstances have changed. I can't just go buying her cheap gifts with stupid engravings on them. I gotta get her something _fantabulous. _

It's 3 hours before closing time so I think I'm going to help Luke close up. That's the least I owe him after falling asleep on him yesterday.

When I walked into the diner, Rory was there by herself, drinking coffee. So, I walk up to her and I sit down beside her.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey Jess. I was actually hoping you'd come down."

"What? Why?"

"Weeeeeell. You know what tomorrow is!"  
"Of course, how could I forget?"

"Well, you know it's gonna be the usual thing tomorrow. Small get together at my house. But this year, it's gonna be a dinner."

"What? Night party. It's usually during the day when everyone's up and happy and not tired."

"Yeah, but this year, Dean's coming. I want him to be able to come. And so you know, I moved it to a later time. Everyone's cool with it. Are you?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm good with that."

"You don't look good with it Jess. C'mon what's bothering you? Is it because I moved it? Do you have something at the night tomorrow? Tell me now because I want my best friend to be there too."

"No. Really. I'm cool with the new schedule. It's just a surprise. That's all."

"Well. I'm gonna go now. It's closing time. Bye."

"Bye."

I give her a big warm hug.

"Beat it." I say.

"Sure thing." She replies.

We smile at each other. Then she walks out the door and leaves.


	4. Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A YELLOW WOOD.

And I…??? Which one am I going to take? Knowing me and my luck, or as I like to call it "The Mariano Luck", I'm bound to take the wrong road which will lead to the obliteration of my entire life.

But enough with the melodrama today is Rory's birthday and I bought her the perfect present. She's gonna go crazy over it. I really have no idea though what I'm going to wear to her birthday shindig. Do I wear a black semi-formal shirt? Do I wear my casual clothes? Do I wear a polo? If I wear a polo, do I wear short sleeves or long sleeves? What the hell? All she told me was that it was a birthday celebration with DEAN "bag boy" coming. What are you supposed to wear to a birthday?

Okay, I'll go with the short sleeves polo with long sleeves white shirt. So it's formal and casual. Yeah, that'll do.

I walk over there in a complete state of panic. I honestly had no idea what to do or say.

Then I arrived at her house. Okay, people in casual clothing. Good. I'm kind of in casual. Talk about a party. I got there and it was an open-house kind of thing. People coming in, going out. I'd guesstimate around 30 people were here.

The minute I stepped inside, I saw Rory. What a sight to see. Of course, she was chatting it up with Dean. I had to break it up.

"Hey Rory."

"Jess! Oh, you came." She said

"Hey Jess." Dean said

"Yeah, of course I came. Here." I said handing her my gift.

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"You say that every year, and every year I say the same thing."

"_Of course I have to. What's the point in throwing a birthday party if you don't want gifts?" _We said at the same time.

Then we had the short chuckle and the stare at each other moments. It was nice.

Then Dean had to ruin it by saying, "Okay. I think we should all eat now."

"Uh, you two go. Drinks are on the right, food is on the right. I'll go entertain my guests." She said and left. She left me with her boyfriend, and I _despise _him.

So after 5 minutes of sitting in a table alone with this guy, and drinking 2 full glasses of mojitos, Rory came and sat down with us.

She sat down next to Dean and they started doing the usual couple-y things. Watching this made me extremely uncomfortable. So I got one more glass of mojito.

Feeling a little dizzy, I made my way to their front porch. My head was aching and I wanted an Aspirin. I sat down on one of their benches. I think I'm a little tipsy. How am I supposed to get home with this massive headache? I was sitting down for quite a while when I saw Dean go out and Rory follow him.

_Finally, he leaves! _ I thought. Rory saw me and sat beside me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I replied.

"So, did you enjoy?"

"Yeah, the food was really good. Compliments to the chef. Or Sookie."  
"It was really good wasn't it?"

"It was."

Then we had a brief moment of silence.

"Rory, I….I gotta tell you something."

"What?"

Now's the time. Do it!

"You're so much better than him"

Not exactly what I was going for.

"What are you talking about?"

"You are so much better than Dean."

"What?! I don't understand."

Then, out of nowhere, I started to cry. This felt awkward so I ran. I ran to the back of their house. And I leaned on the wall near the water bottles. Rory came out and stood beside me.

"Jess. What's gotten into you?"

"You don't want to be around me. Okay? Just leave."

"You can't just say things like that and run off. What's going on?"

"Just leave it!"

"Why did you say that Dean wasn't good enough for me?"

"Don't make me say it Rory." I said sobbing some more.

"What do you know Jess? What, is he cheating on me or something?  
"No! No, he's not!"

"Then why are you like this? Tell me what's going on!"  
"I…..I can't. I can't Rory."

"Tell me Jess."

"You......you really want to know?" I said wiping the tears away from my face.

"Yes."

"You really want to know why I think that you should break-up with Dean?"

"Yes."

"It's because I'm jealous. Whenever I watch you with him, it kills me."

It was at this point that I was uncontrollably crying.

"I want to be the one that, you share your laughs with and the one you go home with. I want you to visit me everyday at work in the afternoons."

"What?"  
"When I'm not with you, I think about you all the time. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't think straight. I can't do anything properly. Then, when I am with you, I feel like my heart is about to explode. I'm in love with you."

The second I told her I loved her, she looked down at her feet. And I didn't even give her time to reply. I made another run for it.

I ran back to Luke's.

I can't believe it. I poured out my heart to her. I finally did it.


	5. Map Of The Problematique

TWO DAYS AFTER MY UNFORTUNATE BREAKDOWN IN FRONT OF RORY I DECIDED TO GO DOWNSTAIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Luke looked at me with pity. I hated that look, because he didn't even know why I cried for days. I didn't deserve his pity. The minute he started walking towards me, I knew, I just knew that he was going to ask me something.

"Jess, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It's good to see you. Did you know that Rory's been looking for you?"

"Oh. No, what have you been telling her? I hope you haven't been telling her the truth."

"I actually did. She's concerned and why shouldn't I be telling her the truth? What's going on?

"Nothing. Who needs coffee?"

"Actually, take these two plates to Babette and Morey. And we are not done with this."

I shrugged it off. Then for the next 20 minutes, I tried my best to avoid Luke. Refilling cups of coffee, getting people's orders, etc. Then Luke grabbed my shoulder and took me upstairs.

"You're hurting me!" I yelled as he dragged me up the stairs.

We entered the apartment and he told me to sit down.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"The truth."

"The truth is that I'd rather not talk about this."

"What is going on?" He asked with his arms crossed.

"With what? School? Work? The economy? Be more specific."

"With you? What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Then why have you been lying down in bed for 48 hours crying your eyes out?"

"It doesn't concern you so just leave it."

"You concern me. So this concerns me."

I thought for a while. Should I tell Luke the truth or not? I wondered what the outcome might be if I told him.

I think I'll tell him and leave out the details.

"Okay, I'll tell you."

"Thank you."

"During Rory's birthday, I got kind of drunk, and I think I might have said some things."

I was sure I told her. I knew what I was doing. Me being a little bit tipsy, might have lowered my inhibitions, but I was fully aware that I was doing this. I _do _love her, with all my heart. Nothing's gonna change that. So I told her.

"What things did you say?"

"I think I might've told her that I liked her."

"Of course you do, you're best friends."

"Luke, please. You know what I mean."

"You mean you told her you liked her more than a friend."

"Yeah."

Luke sat down and looked confused,

"So? What did she say?"

"Nothing. I just ran off."

"Oh. Well that's okay Jess."

"No. You don't get it. It's _not _okay. I ran away. I always figured myself to be the kind of person, who when faced in a fight or flight situation, would fight."

"And you are."

"I'm not. Didn't you hear me? I ran away."

"That doesn't mean you don't have a chance to fight anymore."

"I don't understand you."

"I mean, stand up, face your fears. Go downstairs and if Rory shows up, which she probably will in 10 minutes, you face her."

"Okay. Thanks Luke."

"Sure."

Maybe good things could come from talking to Luke. That made me more confident. So I went downstairs and I started doing my job.

True enough, I saw Rory walking towards the diner. Be prepared boy. She walked in, and the minute she saw me, she formed a half smile.

"Jess. Hey, it's good to see you again."

"Yeah you too. Can I get you anything?"

"No, could we talk for a second."

Oh no. It's the talk. Okay. Just say whatever to make sure that this whole thing doesn't blow out of proportion.

"Yeah sure. Let's talk."

"You wanna go outside?" Rory said pointing outside.

"Uhm okay."

We went outside and started walking.

"Listen Jess, about the other day. I don't know what to say about it."

"Yeah, about that. It was kind of a blur. I mean I remember some things. But I had like a dozen mojitos, so it's all fuzzy."

"So you don't remember what you told me?"

"I kind of do, yeah."

"You do? Remember you told me… well you told me how you felt about Dean and….me."

"Yeah, I remember that. About that too, I reckon I was just a bit confused. I was inebriated."

"You seemed pretty sober to me."

"Well, listen, I'm sorry I wrecked your party by telling you that. I was out of line. I didn't really mean it. I mean, I _do _love you. As my best friend. That's it."

"Really? Our relationship is completely platonic?"

"Yeah. I was confused. I didn't know what I was saying."

"Okay. So, we're good?"

"Yeah, we're good. Don't sweat it."

"Alright."

"Well listen, I gotta get back to the diner. Luke might need my help."

"See you around then."

"Yeah, lets hang out later. I'm off at 5."

"I'll swing by."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I did it. Thank God. Everything's okay.

**Time: 3:30 pm**

I kept on working. I scrubbed the tables, mopped the floor, did inventory. Then at 5 o' clock, Rory picked me up. I was gonna act like the tension between us disappeared.

"Let's go?" She said.

"Yeah."

We had a very regular time. It was just like before. Before Dean came into the picture that is. You see, the minute Dean came along, we started hanging out less and less. And the very few times we did hang out, all we'd talk about was her day and how she spent it with Dean. That drove me crazy. Now, we talked about regular stuff.

"What are you listening to these days?" I asked Rory.

"Distillers."

"Of course. What else?"

"The Killers, White Stripes, Nirvana, The Cure."

"Oohh, Nirvana. Essential."

"What do you listen to?"

"A lot actually. Guns, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Dream Theatre. Anything with Dave Grohl."

"He's awesome!"

"I know! He's like the only guy I know that can play every instrument known to man."

"Haha!"

"You know you should listen to the Rush. They're really smart. If you listen to their lyrics….it's just so smart."

"Okay, The Rush. I'll add that to my list…..Uhm, Jess I have to ask you something. And as my best friend, you have to advise me on this."

"Okay. Go ask."

***PAUSE STORY* *REWIND STORY***

**Time: 3:30 pm**

**Point Of View: Rory**

I went to Lane's house to discuss everything that just went down. I think her band mates were kind of ticked off, seeing as I cut their practice short.

"Lane, what I'm about to tell you is really big. Like it took me by surprise. It's really shocking."

"What? What is it?"

"So, during my party, Jess kind of told me that he loved me."

"What? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yeah. I'm serious. He poured out his whole heart to me."

"What did you do?!"

"I looked away."

"What? Why would you do that?!"

"I don't know. He was saying all these things, and he was crying. He said that he was jealous of Dean, and that Dean's no good for me. Then he just blurts out that he loves me. And I didn't know what to do. I looked down and the next thing I know, he's running away."

"What happened next?"

"Well, next 2 days, I went to the diner to talk to him, but Luke said he'd been sleeping in for like 48 hours straight. Then finally, today he came down. And I confronted him."

"Oh my God, this is so dramatic. Okay, go on."

"I asked him about the other day, and he said that he was tipsy and I believe the word he used was 'inebriated'. He said he had no idea what he was saying before and that he didn't really mean it."

"Oh, ouch."

"That's not what hurts Lane. What hurts is that I think he's lying."

"What do you mean?"

"I think he meant what he said."

"What makes you say that?"

"I started opening my gifts the other day. And I opened his gift."

"What was it?"

"It's the exact same cameo my dad gave me for my 8th birthday that I lost when I was 13."

"So?"

"So?! I loved that necklace more than anything I ever owned. I wore it everyday. And ever since I lost it, I look at every jewelry shop and look for that cameo. I found it a couple of times, but it was ridiculously expensive."

"Oh my God, and he got it for you."

"Yeah."

"That's so sweet."

"I know. But I don't know how I'm going to make him show that you know he's……….jealous of Dean."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because I want him to be honest with me. He's my best friend and we've never lied to each other."

"There is a way that you could do that."

"What? How? Make him jealous?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Have your normal conversations. Do your regular Jess and Rory stuff."

"Then?"

"Then convince him that you're in love with Dean."

"What? That's a strange plan. And how the hell do you propose I do that?"

"You'll find a way."

***PAUSE STORY* *FORWARD STORY***

**Time: 5:00 pm**

**Point Of View: Jess**

"…..Uhm, Jess I have to ask you something. And as my best friend, you have to advise me on this."

"Okay. Go ask."

"Do you think I should tell Dean that I love him?"

_Ouch._

"Yeah. I mean if you do, then go for it."

"Really?"

"Really. I mean if you really do love him, why not?"

"Huh. Okay. Yeah, I'll do that…."

"Is that what you wanted to ask?"

Then she gets a sort of confused look on her face.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. That's it."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Thank you to megs232 for the correction. 


	6. Ruled By Secrecy

THERE IS EVEN A 'LIE' IN BETWEEN BELIEVE.

Does this mean that I shouldn't believe in anything anymore because it's all just a lie? I mean I've lost just about everything that matters the most to me. I lost my dignity, my pride, and my one true love.

It really did kill me when she asked me if she should tell Dean that she loved him. That hurt. But today, I had to put on a happy face for Lane's band. They invited me over today to listen to a song that they made for Rory for her birthday. I don't know why I'm going.

**Time: 5:00 pm**

I walked to their house and they played the song for me. But I honestly couldn't concentrate. I kept wondering if she told Dean yet. I wonder what his response was. I wonder if they're together now.

"Well? How'd you like the song?" Zach asked.

"Yeah, it's great. She'll love it."

"Really?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I mean just the thought of you guys making a song for her, it'll touch her."

They all looked at me with big happy faces. I tried to smile, all I came up with was a not so noticeable frown.

"Uh, do you guys have water or something?"

"Yeah, our fridge is loaded. Feel free to get anything." Lane said.

I opened their fridge and man, Lane was not kidding. They had a lot of crap in there. And several of each kind. I started looking at their drinks. Wow rich baaaand! I thought. They've upgraded from a one dollar six-pack to Johnny Walkers. But they did have beer too. Heineken. International brands. I was impressed. I decided to take a Heineken. I've never tried it before.

When I went back to them, they were talking and laughing about something.

"Hey Jess you want to play with us?" Lane asked.

"Sure, what are you playing."

"Brian, explain please."

"It goes like this, I'm going to pretend to be someone. Then I point at you, you have to say something or anything in the world you would want to say to them. So for example, I'm Clive Owen, then I point at Lane. Lane would say…"

"I wanted to marry you when I was 12." She said quickly.

"Oh, I get it." I said.

"Okay me first." Zach said "I am Neil Peart. What would you say to me, Lane?"

"I wanna be you, I wanna be you, I WANNA BE YOU!!!" She yelled.

"You wanna be Neil Peart?" Brian asked.

"Duh! He's only like the greatest drummer alive." Lane said.

"Me now!" Brian said. "I am Angelina Jolie. What would you say, Zach?"

"You're hot and everything, but you're a home wrecker."

"Hah! Nice. I want to try." I said. "I am Babette! What would you say to me Brian?"

"I hate your garden gnomes because they scare me."

We all laughed at that one.

"Okay, my turn." Lane said. "I'm Rory. What would you say to me, Jess?"

"I lied." I said.

**Time: 7:30 pm**

**Point Of View: Rory**

I went over to Lane's house because she called me over for an emergency.

"Rory!" She yelled in my face.

"What? What's the big emergency?" I asked.

"Come in."

She sounded pretty excited. I wonder what happened.

"Sit." She said, smiling from ear to ear.

"You're very happy." I said. I sat down feeling kind of uncomfortable.

"So, I have good news. But, it might suck for you."

"Okay. So. What's up?"

"Jess was here a while ago."

"He was? Why was he here?"

"Not important. So we were playing this game."

"The pretender?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"You keep telling me that you Brian and Zach are obsessed with it."

"So. I said. I'm Rory. What would you say to me Jess?"

"Why did you do that Lane?!"

"Wait. Questions later. Anyway, where was I. Oh yeah. So I asked, what would you say to me Jess. Then he said, 'I lied.'"

"No waaaaaaaaaay!"

"Seriously."

"Oh, my God."

"Oh my God Rory, He loves you. He really truly loves you."

"What about Dean?"

"Do you love Dean?"

"Yes. I do. I think that he's the one Lane."

"You mean, you think he's your true love."

"Yes."

She looked at me and from a really big smile on her face, it dropped to a big fat frown.

"Don't give me that face."

"What face?"

"That face that says I've disappointed you."

"It's just that…….."

"Yeah?"

"I've always wanted it to be Jess."

"Why?"

"Because Rory. You've known each other since you two were like fetuses. You grew up together. You know each others histories. You click."

"We click?"

"Yeah, like with music and movies and books. And you get each other. You two are perfect. I mean you don't have everything in common, which is great. Because if you guys had everything in common, then its bound to end. You get me?"

"Sort of, but not really."

"He's your soul mate Rory. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. He loves you so much Rory."

"How do you know? I told you one story yesterday. And already you think that he loves me that much?"

"You should see the way he looks when he talks about you."

"Lane, I appreciate your help. I really do. But I think I'm going to figure this one out for myself."

"How."

"I have to talk to Dean."

I left Lane's house and walked over to Dean's. I needed to see what would happen.

About a minute later, I arrived at Dean's house. I knocked and I heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened and Dean stood there looking shocked.

"Rory. Hey, I didn't know you were coming over."

"Neither did I."

"Do you want to come inside?"

"We actually have to talk."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Can we go to a private place."

"Yeah, uhm there's actually no one here. So come in."

I was terrified. I had no idea how to break it down to him.

I sat down on the couch looking worried and uncomfortable.

"What's wrong Rory?"

I didn't say anything.

"Rory?"

"Dean, I have to tell you something."

"Okay. I'm getting kind of scared here though."

"Dean, I love you."


	7. Butterflies and Hurricanes

**Author's Note: **Since it's been a year since my last update, I had to adjust the dates. So if you get confused, just keep in mind that it's 2009 and Jess, Rory and Dean are 18 years old.

THIS THING CALLED LOVE, I JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT.

**Point Of View: Jess**

I decided to give up on love completely. I know it's just one bad experience but hey, that never stopped Francis from never driving again. Here's the 411 with Francis. He took his dad's new Aston Martin DB9 for a joy ride and guess what, the fool crashed it into a lamp post. Long story short, he vowed never to drive again. And like Francis, I vow to never fall in love again.

I walked up to the mirror and stared at it for a few minutes.

"I don't love you anymore. I don't love you anymore. I **don't **love you anymore. It's just infatuation so I don't love you. I'm over you."

I kept repeating this to myself and didn't stop for the next 15 minutes. And then, I was ready.

I was ready to go down and face Rory.

***PAUSE STORY**REWIND STORY***

**Time: 7:30 pm**

**Point Of View: Rory**

"Okay I'm getting kind of scared here though."

"Dean, I love you."

"Rory. Oh my God! I love you too Rory. Was that what you were gonna tell me?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"You scared the hell out of me!"

"I'm sorry." I laughed.

"Come here." He said.

Then we laughed and hugged it out.

**Present time**

**Point Of View: Jess**

I ran down, prepared to face her. I was ready to work and I felt like this huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was working and felt like 100% again. Was that all I really needed? A talk with myself in the mirror? If it was then I wasted an enormous time sobbing like little girl.

All I did was pay attention to the diner. I took orders, refilled coffee cups, took out the trash, swept, mopped. Everything.

Then I looked at the clock. 12:30.

She must be coming in soon but I told myself not to care so much.

True enough, 5 minutes later, she came in and she was not alone. Dean had his arm around her and they were being all cute and couple-y. It was a disgusting sight.

I went behind the counter to make more coffee and tried to not give a damn about what they were doing.

"Hey Jess. How are you?" I heard her say.

Not turning around, I replied calmly "I'm good. And you?"

"Oh, I'm great."

"That's good."

Then there was an entire minute of silence.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

I turned around placed both hands on the counter and just smiled at her.

"Are you upset or something?"

"No. Nothing at all."

She reached out and put her hand on mine. Then I got this strange feeling in my stomach. It felt like a cramp. But not the bad kind. It was the kind that I got every time I'd think about Rory. But that was before! I'm over her now. Right?

"Okay, well if you ever need to talk. Even if you wanna talk now, I'll be right there."

"Sure."

As I watched her walk away, the feeling in my stomach started to get worse. Oh no, it's back again.

I looked at the happy couple sitting by the window.

Who was I kidding? I was still in love with the girl.

**Time: 11:06 pm**

As I was sitting down on the couch, staring into space, I thought about whether or not it'd be better to go on with the way I am now, which is not making me happy. Or, if I should just go with the flow and accept the way things are now. I wish I knew how to just be happy not just for me, but for her too. If she's happy then that's what's important right?

I went to our fridge to get a cold one. I opened the can of beer and noticed the clock. It was 11:11. Now, I'm not a firm believer in superstitions, horoscopes, and things like that, but what was the worst that could happen?

So I closed my eyes tightly and I wished. Then I felt the beer spill all over me.

"Crap! Nice one Jess." I said to myself.

I went to the closet to find a rag and instead I found my old walkie talkie. It was so old and dusty. It's been 6 years since I last used it. I remember the last day I used it.

**September 16, 2003**

"Jess where are you? I found something. Over." Rory talked into her walkie talkie.

"I'm behind the church across the street from the park. Over." Jess replied.

"Roger that. What are you doing behind the church? Come back here to the park. I found something. Over."

"Roger. I'm on my way back. Just wait for me near the slides. Over."

"Roger. Okay. Over and out."

Jess made his way to the slides as he saw Rory pout.

"What? Why are you mad?" Jess asked.

"The day's almost over and you disappeared! It's my last day before break is over. Aaand we were supposed to do other stuff dude. What were you doing there anyway?"

"It's not like I walked to Texas. I just walked across the street."

Rory sighed.

"Oh, what? Don't give me that face. I'm 13 already. I know how to cross a street. Anyway! Are you gonna show me whatever it is you found? Or do you wanna fight me?"

"It's a toss up." Rory said laughing.

Rory and Jess walked a little bit further away from the park. After the park there was an empty field with trees surrounding. To the right of the field there was a small clearing that Jess and Rory walked through. A minute later, they arrived at an old, broken down and abandoned gazebo. Much smaller than the one in front of Doose's Market. But it was in front of a pond and no one seemed to remember that it was there.

"This is what you found? This is why you told me to come back?"

"What? You don't find it pretty?"

"It's a bunch of wood in front of a pond."

"It's a gazebo and I find it pretty. Almost romantic."

"What? Where did that come from?"

"Think about it. If you had this fixed up and put lights all over it, it'd look so nice. I can imagine it! During the night, lights all over the gazebo and inside are small candles."

"That's a fire hazard."

"Stop ruining it!"

"Okay, okay. Go on."

"Over here by the pond, a couple has their first date!"

"Oh yeah, totally. Mine would be with Natalie Portman."

"And I'd get Jake Gyllenhaal."

Rory started playing with the flexible antenna of the walkie talkie. She held it by the antenna and started bouncing it up and down.

"Hey you might break that." Jess warned her.

"Don't be stupid. It's very bendy. It'll hold."

Then Rory's walkie talkie fell into the pond after a hard bounce.

"OH MY GOD!" Rory exclaimed.

"Oh no. What do we do? Oh my gosh! I told you to stop playing with it!"

"Awwww what do I do? Can we still get it?"

"Well I'm not going in there."

"Aggghhh! I can't believe I dropped it!"

"It's okay, let's just go out tomorrow and buy new ones. Besides, this isn't going to be our last scavenger hunt ever just because you broke your walkie talkie."

"Fine. Let's go it's getting late."

**Present Day**

**Time: 11:20 pm**

**Point Of View: Jess**

I remember that was the last time we went on a scavenger hunt. Though not technically a scavenger hunt, we liked to pretend that it was. The only store that sold gadgets like that was closed that day and closed again on the weekend. Then, they were out of stock the next time. Then, a couple of years later, Rory met Dean and we just stopped the hunts all together.


End file.
